She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize