Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
