Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
