So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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