We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
