oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
