I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Less talking, more tequila
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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