no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
NoShamevember. You game?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
