Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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