bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
