you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
