so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
