I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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