There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
