We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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