I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
