are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
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