Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
