Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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