Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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