Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My ass is underappreciated
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
