So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
