Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
