Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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