About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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