I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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