with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
