i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
