Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
