omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
