First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize