my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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