omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
