I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
