I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
