Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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