they need to just BURY HIM!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
