his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
