I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
