need another drink. this is the easiest way
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
