I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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