You made me cry and you don't even care
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
