Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
