**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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