I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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