i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
