He asked to "fluff my boner.."
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
