he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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