Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
