at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
