JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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