you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
