not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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