You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize