I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
