I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
we made out on top of his cat.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize