i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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