Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
soo... how was my night?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
