I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
